A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing . She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
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My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the stories for fun. One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class was the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home. She said, "And so the pig went up to the man with a
wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw with which to build my house?" Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think man said?" My friend's son raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! He said 'Holy smokes!! A talking pig!" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy Father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the Oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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An honest seven-year-old admitted claiming to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?," gasped her mother. "It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."
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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs
white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael. He's a doctor.'" A small
voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "'Cause your feet ain't empty."
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On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?”