*** WARNING ***
Those of a weaker constitution should read no further.

One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine,
woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had
diarrhea, but
when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It
was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong
hole.

She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted
into
the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In
paralyzing
pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and
squirt
out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped
the
sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and
the
neighbors called the police.

When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the
floor
of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her
leg,
was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her
to
a
stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her
other
leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When
he
lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina
at
which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its
way
out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound.

Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile
bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it
sat
there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back
and
forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea
setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he
saw
was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without
convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud
shrimp
flipping and splashing at a furious pace.

If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened:

Ms. DeLucci's official death was the result of a combination of shock
and
severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she
saw
what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on
the
toilet and then on the floor.
It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the
accident
she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a
tub,
she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive
pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face
causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics
found
a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in
front of the tub.

The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper
bag.
Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic
hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The
lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters.
The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud
shrimp egg casings.

Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in
the
water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and
the
lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's vagina when she was
torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms.
DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, and doctors
believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the
perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger
version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over
night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size
every
ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that
morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.