These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original spelling)
collected by Nisheeth Parekh, University of Texas Medical Branch @
Galveston...

1. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the
Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was
Sunday.

2. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please
execute him.

3. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

4. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30,31, 32,
and also 33.

5. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre)
(dyrea)(direathe) the sh#@s. [words were crossed out in the( )'s] (note: I
censored this one for obvious reasons!)

6. Excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of Tree and
misplaced his hip.

7. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

8. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

9. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his
boots leak.

10. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I
don't know what size she wear.

11. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

12. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

13. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

14. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,
headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,
her
brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either,
sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even
got hot last night.