Girl Thang;

Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess
I have two mounds upon my bodice
I shave my legs, I sit down to pee
I can justify any shopping spree
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon
Can get a massage without a hard-on
I can balance the cheque book, can pump my own gas
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass

My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long,
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong
I don't drive in circles at any cost
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost
Don't act like I'm in a timed marathon
Every time I have to go to the john

I don't brag about the size of my cup
Hey, put the seat down,'cause I won't
leave it up!
I never forget an important date
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually
late
I don't watch movies with lots of gore
Don't need instant replay to remember
the score

I won't lose my hair
I don't get jock itch
And just cause I'm assertive
Don't call me a bitch
I don't wear the same underwear everyday
The food in my fridge has no sign of
decay
: Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I
can get her
In your dreams, my dear, I can do
better!
Flowers are okay, but jewellery's best
Would you look at my face, not at my
chest!

I don't have a problem expressing my
feelings
I know when you're lying, you look at
the ceiling
Don't call me a girl, a babe or a chick
I am a WOMAN, get it, you prick!