Christmas Party

After the annual office Christmas party blowout,
John woke up with a pounding headache,
cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the
events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the
bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs,
where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last
night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she assured him, voice dripping with
scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself,
succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of
directors, and insulted the president of the company
to his face."

"He's an asshole - piss on him."

"You did," Louise informed him. "And he fired you."

"Well fuck him," said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."